Modern Day Miracles Happen!

April 30, 2014

Everything changed on that day! Here is my story.

Today my life changed forever! What an amazing day! But I need to explain what happened leading up to this!  First of all, I am a mother of four boys – I have to set the stage! About 2 months ago I was diagnosed with Lyme and my life kind of stopped short. I was so frustrated with my situation, I couldn’t work, money is tight, my health is gone and it was hard to find a blessing. I cried to God and asked Him to give me strength. I immediately was reminded that I have healthy children and I have an amazing family! God just spoke to me, I kept hearing Him say, “Just watch what I can do”. I clung to that and shared it with many people. I knew God was gonna move big…I knew He was going to show up and meet me when I needed it most!

On April 30, 2014, a few days after starting a new bunch of medication for my Lyme, I was feeling really bad. I got my kids on the bus and returned to bed. I cancelled breakfast with a friend and needed to just be still. I had been reading through the first 4 chapters of the New Testament of the Bible. I was in Matthew 21:18-22  

¹⁸ Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. ¹⁹ Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered.

²⁰ When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree wither so quickly?” they asked.

²¹ Jesus replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. ²² If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

I stopped reading for a little while to ponder on those verses about belief. I talked to God about my belief and asked Him if I had enough belief. I said, “God, I believe that you can move mountains. I believe that you can give us a financial break, I believe you CAN do all things. I ask you today, Lord, for a fig tree-withering type miracle today. I am asking you Lord, to please step in today and give me a miracle that can show your power and strength.” With that I continued reading and ended up falling asleep. In that nap time, I had a dream that I was dancing in a kitchen – not mine, a different one – feeling light and carefree. In my dream I felt the joy of the Lord and peace that passes understanding. I knew my mom was coming over to bring me dinner, and I heard car doors in my driveway. I got up, thinking she had a lot of food and things – she always brings me something she found that she knows my kids or I would like – and I wanted to help her.  So I walked to the front door in my ripped sweatshirt and sweat pants, hair all matted from sleeping on it, and eyes half opened. I saw out the window balloons coming up, I first thought my mom brought balloons from a party she went to, so the kids can have fun with them. But then I saw people shuffling around, and thought, “candy gram” or one of those singing monkeys. I opened my front door and my life changed forever. 

Before you watch, I just want to say, a few things. God is good! He is ALIVE! This was truly a miracle – but not one that came lightly. This is following years of God refining me and chiseling away a lot of doubt and worry. God wants each one of us to rely on Him for ALL things. and He wants us to submit to Him all of our worries and fears! He promises us in Ephesians 3:20 “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”  Enjoy my reaction and my bed head! :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sri-Un7za80

To a "friend" that is worried about money...

Oh Worried Mom, I am so sorry for your struggles. I am also struggling, but I have learned some very hard and much needed lessons in this time of strife. May I share? I will, but I want to say that this was my experience, and you may find some tid-bit of wisdom. Lord use my words to help this mother who is need of your peace. As we were faced with foreclosure and we have been at the point where selling an returning bought items was the only way out, I feel your pain. When my son was a baby he had an AWFUL diaper rash with raw skin, and I could not afford any ointment for him, and I sobbed every day because I thought God had forgotten about me. Diapers were hard to buy and I found I was not changing my child enough to conserve money, hence the rash. Fast forward a few years, and we are still in our house, and by the grace of God, we have been able to make ends meet much better. Yes, our children (4 boys) are all out of diapers but now comes the bigger expenses like food! We are doing okay, still live pay check to pay check and I am working, as well as my husband, but not jobs that are carrying our family. SO, what has changed? Circumstances a little, but really it is my faith. I was on my knees asking God for money and a break that we could live comfortably. But finally the Lord shook me up - which He does not do so gently- I learned that my worry was my sin. Matthew 6:25, 33-34  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. God showed me that bu changing my prayer from, give me money to  teach me what I need to learn, my entire life has changed. We still struggle, but I am so in God's hands I am not scared. I am married to a man that is not saved, and though my peace and joy in the midst of our trials, he has no choice but see a difference  in my attitude. Something he does not understand, but he never will until he see Jesus for himself. So it is with joy in my heart and peace that passes all understanding that I can face tomorrow and all the trials that we will face.

I will be praying for your heart to be open and your heart to be filled with the peace that only God can give. For worry is only the enemy telling you that God can not help you...and you know what- HE SO CAN!!! and WILL, with out having to be asked, because that is how much he loves us. God Bless you! and remember, this Thanksgiving, find Jesus and give thanks for the blessings you DO have...you will be amazed at what God has given to you so far, because that is who HE is!

With my heart in prayer!

Penny

Today is Today...

 

I am glad to say good bye to today. It was a tough day, emotionally and mentally. I know the mantra, "mama said there will be days like this...", but it does not make me feel better, at all. I look forward to going to sleep and waking up to a new day. There is something about the sun coming up and bringing new light. I think of the night fall like a curtain that comes down to end a scene in a play. And the sun is the opening of the scene. A fresh scene. Though the back drop may not change much, the characters and conversation does. Tomorrow is a NEW day...what will I do with it?

Remind me Lord to put you first. ~ Amen

Life's Wagons

Lying in my bed, tossing and turning, I began to take stock of my life.  I had closed my eyes and looked to make sense of my weight gains and losses – my addictions and overcoming my strongholds.  I hated to see that my addictions had me bound up.   All my life I have fluctuated up and down.  I have never been over 250 lbs, but I have been “obese” by the AMA standards.  I have had limits to my physical stamina, issues with intimacy, and struggles with my own self image.  Any addiction has a mask and deceives you and makes you think you have control of your own life, but in reality it is your prison and IT has the control over you.   I began to drift off to sleep and began to dream.  A vision came into my mind – a story of life and falling off the wagon and getting back on.

I was going down a dirt road on the back of a wagon, pulled by a horse and driven by a coachman.  I was sitting on the edge of this dirty, wooden, cracked, hard flatbed.  There wasn’t anything to hold onto, except the edge of the bed.  I sat with my feet dangling down, getting lost in the dust being kicked up by the wheels.  I held on tight as there were no shock absorbers, and the ride was very rough.  My arms began to get weary as I clenched with all my strength.  Every so often a huge bump would come and I would actually bounce up off the wood, only to come back down and feel the ache in my bottom.  I have to say, I was sick of watching where I had been – I wanted to see where I was going, but I just couldn’t get myself turned around.  I was still holding on, my arms were weak, my hands were getting numb and all of a sudden – BOOM.  I fell off the back of the wagon.  The coachman did not realize I was not there and continued on his way.

After the dust settled I looked around.  I knew where I was.  I had been there before.  I got up and started to walk.  I recognized some people as they drove by me.  Some of my acquaintances were sitting on the back of the wagon as I was, some were sitting in the middle of the wagon, some were up front with the coachman, some were driving alone, and then there were some who were actually driving other people. 

I hid my face from the people I knew and envied the people I saw that were riding smoothly.  I wished that I was not walking – the path was so dark, so rough, and it was getting very spooky and lonely.  I sat down to take a rest. 

Just as I was starting to cry out for help a wagon pulled up to me.  It stopped, and I jumped on the back.  I rode there for a while – in the same position I was before.  It wasn’t too long before it happened again – I had bounced right off the wagon.  I cried and cried.  I hid from people who passed and wished I could fade off into the night – however, I felt like there was a spot light on me. 

After hours of sobbing and feeling sorry for myself, I got up and started to walk.  I knew where I was, I just didn’t know where I was going.  Another wagon stopped in front of me, but this one was different.   It had a bench in the back.  It had a cushion and a handle bar.  I jumped on and took a seat in the middle of the wagon.  I adjusted my body to get comfortable.  I wanted to stay in this seat for as long as I could.  I took a hold of the handle bar, but didn’t feel as if I had to squeeze it.  I did have to hold on though; it was still a rough ride.  However, the bench was facing forward so I could see the potholes and bumps in the road.  When I saw one coming, I clenched my hands and hung on tight. 

After the bumps were behind me I was able to relax a bit – but I was still prepared for the next pothole.  Just as started to get comfortable, I started to close my eyes and just coast – that’s when it happened – a bump that made me lose my balance, I started to fall, but I was able to catch myself.  I sat back down and realized that this was not the time to sleep. 

We passed by more people; some I knew, some I didn’t.  As I was riding I saw a friend of mine on the side of the road.  She looked as lost and as frustrated as I did, not too long ago.  We stopped and I helped her onto the wagon.  I told her if she was ready that we can work together to stay balanced and keep each other safe and secure on the wagon. 

The coachman called back, and asked if either of us were ready for a lesson to drive.  I leaned forward and watched as he maneuvered the horse around some bumps and how he slowed down and went over the unavoidable potholes.  I watched as he worked with the horse and not against it.  He explained that it was important to maintain control at all times – if you release the reigns even a little, the horse would run off and do its own thing and all of your authority would be gone - it is very hard to regain that control once it is gone.  It was extremely important to stay focused on the road ahead of you and never to look behind you.  I remember how sick I was of looking where I had been I knew so that was not going to be a problem.  The final word of advice that coachman gave me would stay in my mind forever.  “If you feel like you are falling, stop, take a break and readjust.  DON’T EVER GIVE UP!  DON’T EVER JUMP OFF!  AND DON’T EVER FEEL LIKE YOU CAN’T DO IT…YOU CAN!!” 

We pulled into a rest stop.  The coachman jumped off the wagon, handed me the reigns and told me to be careful and remember everything I had learned.  I thanked him and slowly pulled out of the station.  I was a little unsteady so I figured a nice slow pace was best.  The end result will still be same, it doesn’t matter how fast I get there, just as long as I remember HOW I get there.  Slow and steady.  I talked with my friend who had finally moved up to the front with me.  It seemed easier with her there next to me.  We took turns driving, and we relied on each other’s strength when we felt weak or unable to stay in control.  I wanted to quit a few times, but my friend talked me into staying with it, as I did for her.  She also reminded me to maintain a slow pace and that it would be easier to stay on the path if we went slowly. 

As I drove down the path it seemed to get easier.  The bumps were still there – some were easy to steer clear of and some were unavoidable.  As long as I stayed in control I didn’t lose my balance as often – I learned how to handle the rough road.  I prepared myself, took a deep breath and passed over each dip in the road, one at a time.  Eventually I got used to it and always tried to be prepared for the unexpected.  The path got smaller sometimes; that’s when I went slower and needed my friend to help me steer.  The path also opened up a few times, which was fun, I actually let the horse run, but not for long, I didn’t want to lose control. 

As my friend and I went down the path together, we picked up some others on the way.  Some were sitting on the edge, facing backward and clenched to the wooden frame.  Some sat in the middle watching out where we were going, and only held on tight when they had to.  Some rode up in the front and got some driving tips from me.  And some, well they fell off – I hope they get on the next wagon that passes. 

I finally woke up and realized where I was.  I was home in my bed trying to start over – again.  I want to be in the middle of the wagon and eventually in the front.  I want to be ready for the potholes and bumps, and try to avoid them, or at least prepare for them.  I want to see where I am going and not where I have been – heck I was already there, why do I have to see that again?  I want to see the next thing, the new thing, and the grand finale.  I finally know where I want to be, do you?